And always bracing for the fall
That’s no way to love” -Sam Tsui, “Naive” (Make It Up, 2013)
We learn and grow from our past experiences. We’re conditioned to stay away from things that hurt us, convinced that we should know better than to repeat the same “mistake”. But every time we avoid what scares us, it limits us from doing so much.
At one point in our lives, we will all be hurt by someone: a friend, a significant other, a family member, a colleague, or anyone with whom we come in contact. Does that mean we should harden ourselves for the next interaction or relationship? That’s what we do isn’t it? We take into account what’s hurt us before and we hold back from taking risks, or we enter with our guard up. Then, the next person we encounter has to pay for the previous person’s mistakes.
Every wound left behind heals, but we never rip off the band-aid even after it’s completely healed. We’re too afraid to be vulnerable and be put in the same position again. We think we have to be wiser, have the upperhand — we have to stay strong and not show any ounce of weakness. But isn’t that just as detrimental, approaching something with so much caution? And when the next encounter or relationship fails, we try and change again…
Every alteration we make to ourselves, our feelings and actions… we change ourselves. We grow further away from who we are, we look into the mirror and can barely recognize ourselves. What’s left is thick walls surrounding someone who is too scared to let them down… I don’t think that’s any way to live, it’s not fulfilling.
If we can learn to be naive, we can learn to be more carefree.