Ever had those moments when you just instinctively feel that you’ve done what you were supposed to do in a certain place? It’s like a feeling of completion, and a compulsion to move on.
Ever had those moments when you start doubting the gut feeling you have about your decision right after you make it? You start taking in all the circumstances surrounding your choice, and all of a sudden you feel like a coward, as though you’re really running away.
If you’ve had either of those moments happen to you, you have the gist of what I’m feeling right now.
For a while I felt a sense of belonging; as if I were exactly where I was supposed to be and doing what I was meant to be doing. That feeling has since left, and I feel a pull to move forward with my endeavors, gravitating toward new opportunities. But even knowing that I’m meant to be walking ahead, I can’t help but shake off the uncertainty and doubt. It’s not unusual to feel doubt when making huge decisions, but it doesn’t quiet the question: are you moving on, or running away?
Regardless of how I feel, I can’t help but look the situation objectively as well. To any other person who is not myself, it seems as though I am taking the coward’s way out. It seems as though as soon as obstacles rise, I’m running for the hills. And it makes me wonder if that’s exactly what I’m doing?
I try not to let others’ opinions affect my decision, but it would be a lie to say that I didn’t put any stock into what my friends and family members’ advice. The future is unknown; what may or may not happen is as good a guess of mine as it is yours. So how do we really know what’s the right path for us? No matter what we choose, there’s going to be a moment in the future when we wonder what it would’ve been like had we walked the other path.
I guess that’s what Robert Frost was trying to say in his poem, “The Road Not Taken.” There will be moments when we have tough decisions and two roads if not more to go down. No matter which one, it leads to something, and people will have travelled all of them at one point or another. Unfortunately, we can’t take all the roads, and there’s always going to be a mystery of the other. So depending on perspective, I could be moving on or running away, I could be making the best change in my life or making the worst mistake. It’s something I’ll never know, something I’ll always think about, but in the end, what’s done is done. No matter how I feel about the decision, it’s a choice I have to make.
Here’s some advice for you, and for me: no matter what choices we make in life, we should stand firm in our decisions. Even if we live to regret it in the future, at some point in the past, it was what we thought was best.