Performative Allyship

I previously mentioned not wanting to add my two cents to the discourse about the Stop Asian Hate movement and there are several reasons for my silence. For one, it’s a lot to process such as the anxiety and trauma that comes with the events — constant news on my social media, the main topic between friends, and the central conversation in my family group chat. And two, the significant amount of attention being brought to the topic.

As I said before, I support the movement and these hate crimes need attention. They need to be talked about and addressed on the daily. And that’s where my hesitation lies.

Right now, Asian hate crimes, marches and protests are being plastered on headlines and news reports. For now. Just like we’ve seen with the Black Lives Matter movement, the chatter stops when the event stops. And when that happens, many of the voices will disappear. And it feels like all that we are doing now is performative. Performative empathy, performative advocacy, and performative allyship.

I don’t want to add to the performance.

Will I attend Stop Asian Hate marches if they continue? Probably not, and especially not at this time with Covid-19 still spreading and endangering lives.

Will I post on my social media platforms about the crimes to bring attention to them? Again, probably not. I don’t use social media in that way and sharing articles and videos without my own commentary and feelings attached seems empty.

Should I be doing these things? Probably. And I will, when the dust settles and we moved on to the next topic of discussion.

Why? Because as I said, I don’t want to be in a performance. I don’t want to join the hype and act like I’m some advocacy warrior when I’m not. I want to talk about these events and their effect on me on my own terms. I want to do it when people don’t care anymore.

Performative allyship is putting a hashtag after you’ve reposted an article or video, but continue to live your life as before. It’s going to a march to get Instagram photos to show you’re a good person and do nothing thereafter. It’s letting everyday acts of racism, microagressions, and stereotyping pass as the norm.

If you’re going to stand as an ally, it’s an every day stance. Not just when there’s an influx of stories from news outlets. If you’re going to be an ally, it’s speaking up and speaking out against things that are hurting the minority groups (racial, ethnic, sexual, religious, etc.). Not ignoring privileges when they benefit you. If you’re going to be an ally, it’s understanding that we don’t get to choose when we experience these things and that it’s part of our lives.

What can you do? There are so many sources that can tell you. There are so many people jumping at the chance to let you know. Google them, talk to them, make an effort. Have difficult conversations and discussions about uncomfortable topics with the people in your life, your community. But most importantly, reflect and introspect to learn where you stand and what your beliefs are. I don’t think anyone can be a real ally if they can’t explain why they are one.